Scotland

So yesterday I voted in the most important political event to happen in my lifetime, possibly my children's lifetime.

I will not be putting what I voted but I was up all morning from 3am watching sky news for the deets and needless to say I am now wanting diet coke fed intravenously to me as the kids scream and run round the place.

I wish I drank coffee.

Oh and my "diet" that you are supposed to maintain after the detox is non existent. In fact I've just eaten a packet of quavers and for the past 2 days I had pasta for lunch as that's what the baby had and of course I make too much.....

My thighs are taking over the world.

Weekend After

So the weekend is nearly done. And since my detox finished on Friday naturally all my good work (can we call 5 pounds of water weight good work?) has gone out of the window. It's not like juicetou don't send you out a follow on diet plan either - they do! A very concise very graphically nice leaflet laying out water intake, breakfast, snack, lunch and dinner. Already failed then. Great.

But naturally, feeling fabulous after the detox and being told I looked awesome on twitter by the lovely juicetou, I had to go shopping on Saturday and needless to say, naturally, feeling fabulous didn't last long whilst trying on clothes! I also forgot to drink any water when I got up as I was rushing, obviously didn't eat any breakfast and had to resort to a bottle of diet coke as my stomach was hollow with hunger and I was a narky bitch. But hey ho.

Then I was shopping we passed the cinema and ohhhhh the smell of the popcorn was so delightful I went in and bought myself a tub. A large tub. And then went to asda and ordered a create your own 14 inch pizza for me and hub to share that night.

FAIL. Massive massive fail.

So today rolls around and I need to go help my friend out, which is fine you think, nothing unhealthy in that except it's at a wedding fayre and there's cake and shortbread. I had about twenty pieces of shortbread, no cake - hurrah!, and a diet coke. Come home and hub (love him) has made salmon for dinner with lovely steam veg.... and chips..... with mayonaise by the vat.

FAIL. Massive massive fail.

I have told myself I will start a fitness dvd I've had my eye on for a while tomorrow. But it's hard to do that when you have a baby who won't sit still and let's you know that she doesn't want to be merely put in the travel cot AT ALL with all her toys and no of course she won't sleep cause sleep is for LOSERS and you have a toddler big boy who wants to do everything you do and also won't sit still. Do it after their bedtime you say? Sure. Is that in between all the cleaning and ironing and tidying I have to do before I too call it bedtime? 

Hmmm!

Still a slummy mummy folks.

Maybe I need to do another detox.

Results!

Forgive my lack of posts for the rest of yesterday. The reason is because my husband surprised me by taking me out because it was.... our anniversary! And I FORGOT! Massive massive fail. Well needless to say it was fun sitting in a bar with a glass of water but we were together and that's all that matters... Aww. (I'll need to make it up to him tonight with copious amounts of beer, ugh.)

Well.

And now to results!

I have to say I'm actually surprised. I was really struggling, really, really. Far more than I thought I would normally. But it looks like it paid off!

5 pounds!!!!

I am honestly so chuffed with that as I so worried I'd let myself down. Not to mention being picked to try this lovely product, moan about it the whole time then not lose anything! 

And even better, my measurements show I've lost 6 and a half inches overall! 

Before:

  After:

And these are a selection of my after photos too:

And finally a comparison:

Thank you juicetou, now I'm on the rise to being a yummy mummy and it feels good. And now I know (for me) it works I would be very tempted to try the detox again (only in a holiday time when my husband was here to help out so I could sleep!) and please please please consider putting let's glow in the shops to buy. I would so buy it. It's so yummy.

Thanks and bye (for now!)

Day 3. 2nd juice - let's glow

I really do love this juice. I could drink it all day everyday. 

Along with eating quavers.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I saw on twitter this morning as I was having my clean green the befores and afters of people; one had lost 7 pounds and looked amazing. I just want it to work for me but I don't know that it is. I don't know whether it's my mindset or the tiredness from having kids or the having to be around and cook food that I can't eat. I mean come on I was even drooling over fish fingers last night and they normally make me want to throw up.

Before kids this would have been so easy. Hell I used to sometimes only eat a couple of slices of toast a day I wouldn't be that bothered. Now being in the house with them or even out and about means all I think of is food. Because their mealtimes are so regimented I can't separate myself from food or the temptation. Even the baby now we're introducing more and more foods for her to eat. I made her an omelette for lunch yesterday I could have licked the plate after I was that hungry.

I'm taking this juice earlier because my stomach has been making embarrassing noises.

And cause it's my favourite.

I'm quite sad that it's my last actually.

Day 3 - Thoughts

Ended up going to my bed early again last night. My son's still ill and now my daughter has it so we were up half the night with them so today I'm a walking zombie. I came downstairs and put on cartoons and just lay on the sofa. I haven't even changed my daughter or made their breakfast yet.

Mum of the year, huh?

I'm finding the tiredness and lack of energy very debilitating. I was always low energy before but this is a whole new level. It may not be the healthiest of ways but man can a diet coke give me enough energy to actually move and do things. I also have spots on my face whereas before I wasn't prone to them. Not a case of keeping makeup on overnight - I haven't been wearing any.

Last day.

I better have lost an insane amount of weight but the way my trousers are fitting today.... not so much.

Day 2. 3rd juice - Berry Good

I'm having this early because the smell of my sons fish fingers for dinner was appetising to me.

And I hate fish fingers.

Day 2. 3rd juice - clean green

Well after the debacle of my attempt to do some housework this afternoon I was late in taking the clean green 3pm juice as the baby needed fed, took longer to settle into a nap and then I had to put tonight's chicken and sausage casserole on.

Which I won't get to eat.

I'm so hungry.

Day 2 - Drowsy

Have a banging headache and feeling very drowsy and tired. I picked up the large roaster from the chicken last night that I had left overnight steeping and spilled all the water over myself, my worktop and my kitchen cupboard underneath. I then went to grab a towel to mop it up and in doing so knocked over a glass of water all over too.

This isn't very good. I don't know whether the weight loss is worth it. Obviously I feel a lot of self loathing for letting myself get this big but the other benefits of the detox; the rejuvenation, the energy etc just aren't something I'm experiencing. I was a crabbit person before, I'm even worse now.

Day 2. 2nd juice 12pm - Let's Glow

In need of this. I am just so lethargic and beyond hungry and now have to attempt to make the kids lunch. 

Edited to add: Ended up taking it a wee bit later and finished it in less than 5 minutes. Was very refreshing but in no way filled me up. Did taste lovely though.

Day 2. 1st juice 9 am - Clean Green

Tastes better than yesterday, less boggy lettuce as there seemed to be less denseness to it. But I'm lagging very hard. I have less than zero energy. Yesterday I put that down to having had a hard night with the kids. After almost 11 hours sleep there is no excuse to feel this shit. I can't play with the kids, all I want to do is go curl in a corner and sleep. The thought of going anywhere seems too hard and with my son ill still it's an easy excuse to stay home. I guess I'm never going to look like

this ever again. I'm not sure whether it's no willpower or what but just the thought of today and tomorrow on the juices I've wanted for a long time is almost enough to make me cry. I was low energy and moody before but I'm taking it to even lower levels now and it's making me feel worse.

Day 2 - Thoughts

So today is another day.

I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. I ended up going to bed last night just after the kids which meant me and my husband had no time together. And it didn't make any difference this morning anyway! I dragged myself out of bed as if I had two hours sleep instead of 11. 

So I did what you're not supposed to do. I weighed myself thinking that if I did and I had SOME weight loss it might be worth it, it might spur me on to do better today. NOPE. NOTHING. NOT EVEN ONE MEASLY POUND. To be honest I thought I might have peed a pound off yesterday never mind anything else.

And I struggled with taking the juices on time - often taking them later than what I should. Not by a lot but by a bit. Perhaps the baby needed changing or my son was being sick at the time or yesterday I got a parcel delivered and the guy stood chatting at the door for ages whilst all I was thinking about was my next juice. 

It's definitely not helped my mood either. Every word my son was saying to me this morning was like a knife ripping through me. It actually hurt. And I am the worst mother in the world.

Safe to say I am not looking forward to today. Still with an ill boy and a teething baby but with no energy and a mood that would crack mirrors should I want to look in one.

Kill me now.

Day 1. 4th Juice 6pm - Berry Good

Last juice of the day. I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been a struggle. I'm knackered but then I was up all night with the kids and then as I was cutting the roast chicken up to plate it I automatically ate a bit. Grr. Can't believe it. But least it was just chicken and not chocolate, right? And it was instinctual, completely automatic. But doesn't stop me from screaming inside.

Anyway.

This one is Berry Good. It says "bursting with antioxidants that play a massive part in keeping your cardiovascular system in tip top shape". It contains pineapple, blueberries, strawberries, apples and raspberries.

Hmm. I was expecting it be sweeter and the one I enjoyed the most. It was certainly the one that I was looking more forward to but the let's glow is my favourite after today.

It's definitely berry tasting but a bit more bland than what I was expecting.

The family are still eating their dinner and I am hiding in the kitchen. I am so hungry and so mad at myself for having that bit of chicken.

How am I going to cope for two more days?

Day 1. 3rd Juice 3pm - Clean Green

Finding it difficult. Both kids are playing up with being cooped up but it's not a barrel of laughs for me either. I'm so hungry. The juice at 12, though palatable did not dent anything and I've dreaded this one as this morning I struggled to finish it.

I'm cooking a roast chicken for dinner for everyone else and the smell is driving me demented. I barely had any energy to hoover the carpets and am excelling at snapping at my children today more than ever.

It's very hard. 

Now goes my 2nd green juice, a bit later than planned as I had to help my wee boy when he was sick.

Day 1. 2nd juice 12pm - Let's Glow

The morning has been difficult.

My son, being ill, means we can't go out so it's dvd's and sitting about. My head is aching and every time I step in the kitchen I feel myself wavering. 

But it's nearly time for the 2nd juice of the day. This is the Let's Glow one. It says "drink me to cleanse the digestive system and radiate your skin". It contains oranges, apples, kiwi, grapes and strawberries.

I'm hoping it tastes better than the clean green this morning as by the end of the bottle I had to swish it down with water. Also means I've been peeing all day.

I know my headache is due to the fact I am caffeine withdrawing as well as juicing and this can only benefit me. But so typical that my son is ill and we can't go anywhere to distract me. 

It tastes okay. I like the fruitiness of it rather than the "green" one of the previous juice. I'm not liking the "bits" like I didn't like the bits in the green one, though sometimes that was like drinking soggy lettuce this one is just pips I think. Every time I drink it I get a taste of something else but I think that the kiwi is the most prominent taste. But I'm hungry and it's time to feed the kids. Wahhhhh.

Biscuits

My darling son has just asked for a biscuit.

Then another.

When I went in the cupboard my stomach rumbled so loud he asked me what that noise was.

I'm hoping it goes away after I finish the juice.

But this might be harder than what I thought.

Day 1. 1st juice 9 am - clean green

Not going to lie this is the one I'm dreading. I've heard so many ... not bad... things, just people saying that this is the one they struggled with the most. 

This is the clean green. It says "you will receive more nutrients than most people get in a week by drinking me". The goodness inside reads "spinach, cucumber, celery, apples and limes". 

I've never had spinach before (I'm not popeye), I do love a bit of cucumber, only seen celery in bloody marys, quite partial to a pink lady or two and the only lime I have had comes in my vodka soda. 

So here goes.

 ...

It's not baddddd. It's not great, sure. It tastes.... green. I'm not sure whether that makes any sense but I can't think of another way to describe it. I'm not sure either how I will finish it all. I might have to take some water straight after. It feels very dense. But not yucky. I've tasted worse! And let's face it, after this mornings scales I'm more slummy mummy than ever!

Let's do this. 

Day 1 - Measurements

As much as my positivity reigned last night and yesterday today is a different story. The babies were up for most of the night. My son is ill - probably from someone at his party - and my little girl is in teething hell. So am I. I do not do well from lack of sleep. I miss my diet coke already. I automatically reached for it when I went into the fridge this morning first thing. I can feel my stomach hollow from it already even though I'm having my water with lemon before my first juice (15 mins to go!) It's like psychological warfare.

It doesn't help that I had a shock this morning when I stepped on the scales. Practically all the weight I lost via a handy little viral infection has been slowly sneaking back on. I'm gutted. I knew I looked a state in the mirror but I honestly didn't think I'd been that much of a pig to pile that much back on.

So here's my "before" ....

 

So I am 9 stone 10 which is 136 pounds (yuck!).

And the measurements....

Now excuse me while I go cry into my clean green...

 

Being a Chosen One

When juicetou tweeted about mum's and dad's being wanted to review and trial their detox juice program I sent an email with some basic info and stats thinking there was no way I'd be chosen (having known how popular it is) but that it was a try anyway. I'm very much into if you don't try/ask you don't get so why not. It hasn't always worked out. For instance trying to barter for an amazing woollen coat in a vintage shop at a knockdown price.... But this time it paid off!

And so here I am. It's a Tuesday night and my juices and lemons were delivered this afternoon in a cooled cardboard box and instantly refrigerated for tomorrow. 

No food, no diet coke *sob*, no caffeine and only water or fruit teas to be taken in conjunction with the juices at 9am, 12pm, 3pm and 6pm. Well okay. I don't drink tea but I can do this water thing, right? I've been meaning to cut down on my diet coke intake...

All in all I'm just very excited to get this opportunity. As said in my previous post I need this, I need to at least try it to see if this is the kickstart that works for me. It will be hard, I know this, but I hope to keep on track not only for myself but for my kids too. As much as I try and be healthy for them - not so much the baby as she is still on mainly purees at the moment but I always try and cook healthily for my wee boy and he likes his veggies, likes his protein and has set meals of breakfast, snack mid morning, lunch, snack mid afternoon and then a proper dinner when Daddy comes home from work. Whereas I .... get up, have a diet coke for breakfast. Maybe I'll have a bounty bar with that if I can't hold off til mid morning. Lunch for me is usually a packet of quavers or two slices of toast smothered in butter if I'm feeling REALLY hungry. Sometimes I might have another bounty for a snack in the afternoon before shovelling some sort of dinner down my throat attempting to feed a little baby girl who doesn't take to it that great. Sometimes I might not even cook anything for myself and convince my husband when he comes in that chips and cheese would be great! It's a nasty habit to break.

I feel it'll be harder around lunch and dinnertime for me. Though maybe not lunch and a bit later as that's when I seem to hit my wall and just want the day to end so I can go to my bed. It's not very nice to live this way so I'm hoping that the reviews of feeling more energy and rejuvenated aren't just embellishing and actually the truth. I would have bought this detox a long long time ago if it wasn't for the price. How many times I had it in my basket on the website before the wedding.... Just think how different my pictures at the wedding would have been had I taken the plunge and bought it. I wouldn't have wasted so many hours having to retouch them all that's for sure! So in essence, my hopes are very up for this but this is why I think I'm the perfect trialist for it. I'm going to give it my all. 

And I am so into the not having to exercise during it. Though hard as my exercise is basically pushing around that damned heavy double buggy to the shops and the park and back again! It's so hard to get a bus where I live that will let you on with that monstrosity. I get their point but then again surely if I want to get on a bus I should be able to? But I digress.

Til 9am tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Background

I'm a 32 year old woman child who sometimes thinks she's about 20 yet has the face and derriere of a 40 year old. What I feel are not what photos and mirrors are telling me anymore. The cracks on my forehead are in dire need of some industrial strength polyfilla and I'm beginning to look more and more like my old mother - God rest her soul - with each and every day. It wasn't always like this though. No... before I had my children I was a slim 7 stone (98 pounds) and a size 8. Not bad for my 5 foot 4 (64 inches) height. Here's the proof! I had cheekbones! I had no jowls! No crowsfeet! No bloating! A waist! No thunder thighs! Hurrah!

Then when I got pregnant with my oldest (3 years ago) I thought I would snap right back, I  had heard the myth that breastfeeding would make the weight fall off me (it didn't, it is MYTH). And although I did lose some weight, I didn't lose all of which I put on during the longggggg 41 weeks.

So a year after my son was born I was a size 10 on top and a 12 on bottom and getting back to a size 8 seemed an insurmountable task. I was 9 stone (126 pounds) and though I tried exercise dvd's, walking everywhere with the pram, diets galore (dukan, anyone?), starving myself.... you name it, I just couldn't lose anything else. Then I got pregnant again and after my little girl was born last November I was 10 stone (140 pounds) and it was only getting ill with a pretty serious viral infection that I miraculously lost half a stone! I had been *sob* a big size 12 up top and a size 14 in bottom, now I can squeeze myself into a size 12 both top and bottom but I really have to try clothes on now, my size fluctuates so much I daren't buy anything online as more often than not I'd have to return it!

I got married this year to the father of my children and I didn't feel like a bride should do on her magic day. I was uncomfortable at the thought of everyone taking photos of me. I have been since first becoming pregnant and piling on the weight. I don't let people take photos of me - I have no control over the delete button that way! I've lost track of how many photos I've actually deleted of myself and I have been known to sneak away with other peoples cameras and delete the ones of me. If I can't and they end up on facebook I either untag myself or block it from my timeline entirely. I don't mind selfies sometimes, though only when it's my phone as I can control how I look then; camera higher and I can decide which profile looks better. Have been known to delete more than a few of them too though. It's the forehead chasms and the crowsfeet taking over the world that ruin even just a face photo.

When my wedding photos came I cried. I literally had panic attacks when people were uploading theirs onto facebook and they would appear on my timeline or the dreaded ping of the notifications sounded. They were beyond terrible. I had a double chin and my arms were like big tree trunks of lard. I cried for about a week as picture after picture appeared of me looking bloated and uncomfortable. Photos when I was walking down the aisle, after the ceremony, the cake, the speeches, oh god the speeches ones were awful! and don't even get me started on the first dance ones or the evening reception. I would say that out of more than 500 photos I only liked two. TWO. And one of them was a selfie taken by my cousin's fiancee!

I will let you into a secret.

There is a photobook of all our wedding memories. My husband was showing it at our boy's third party recently and I didn't reallyyyyy mind because.....

I've edited the pictures.

All of them.

Every single one of them.

I downloaded editing software and systematically worked my way through the files of photos and reshaped my face, my neck, my arms. I whitened my teeth and in some instances greenified my eyes.

I'm not ashamed because these are photos I will live with for the rest of my life and will exist into my children's lives. Some of them are how I should have looked if I had had the chance, the willpower, the dedication. Not all of them are perfect but they're considerably better than what they were!

Here's examples. Originals followed by edited:

 It's just the tip of the iceberg.

And now.... all that is about to change. And why? Because I have been chosen to trial a detox programme of juices by juicetou, a company I've been following on twitter for a while and delighted to be picked to do this.

The plan is 4 juices a day with a 3 hour period in between them. It will last for 3 days with a before picture and after picture and detailed measurements to see what I can achieve. It's not only about weight (though that is obviously the main draw). The juices promote clear skin and mind too - something this slummy mummy is in dire need of! As much as I love my children I am depressed sometimes about the loss of "me". My body and my quiet time and SLEEP! The company boasts that the detox will leave me feeling "fully revitalised, refreshed and rejuvenated" which means it not only benefits me but my children and my husband too. Too often I am too tired to play with them, moany and snappy and then depressed by the time my husband returns from work. Being a stay at home mum is exhausting and altogether too tempting to reach into the biscuit jar or even at the shops pick up a wee bottle of wine for later. Not to mention I am a diet coke junkie. It's a slippery slope to slumminess. I take it well.

Well...tomorrow that all changes because the juices have ARRIVED! I beyond excited to start the climb up from my slummy depths.

I have no doubt it will be hard with two children to care for - they are a bundle of energy, don't sleep during the day and cooking meals for them and my husband whilst sticking to juices myself will be tough I have no doubt. It's going to take some serious willpower and dedication but all I need to do is look at all those unedited wedding photos and know I am making a good start.

Juicetou seems to be a good company; they have a very decent transformation record and rave reviews both on their website www.juicetou.com/ and on their twitter  https://twitter.com/juicetou. With the results including weight loss, improved energy and improvement in hair, complexion, concentration and immune system and more I am hoping this is the start to my rise to become the yummy mummy I always hoped I would be. Detoxing regularly can only be a good thing to "reset" your health and life and I hope to continue the good work after the 3 days are up.

Til tomorrow!!