I'm a 32 year old woman child who sometimes thinks she's about 20 yet has the face and derriere of a 40 year old. What I feel are not what photos and mirrors are telling me anymore. The cracks on my forehead are in dire need of some industrial strength polyfilla and I'm beginning to look more and more like my old mother - God rest her soul - with each and every day. It wasn't always like this though. No... before I had my children I was a slim 7 stone (98 pounds) and a size 8. Not bad for my 5 foot 4 (64 inches) height. Here's the proof! I had cheekbones! I had no jowls! No crowsfeet! No bloating! A waist! No thunder thighs! Hurrah!
Then when I got pregnant with my oldest (3 years ago) I thought I would snap right back, I had heard the myth that breastfeeding would make the weight fall off me (it didn't, it is MYTH). And although I did lose some weight, I didn't lose all of which I put on during the longggggg 41 weeks.
So a year after my son was born I was a size 10 on top and a 12 on bottom and getting back to a size 8 seemed an insurmountable task. I was 9 stone (126 pounds) and though I tried exercise dvd's, walking everywhere with the pram, diets galore (dukan, anyone?), starving myself.... you name it, I just couldn't lose anything else. Then I got pregnant again and after my little girl was born last November I was 10 stone (140 pounds) and it was only getting ill with a pretty serious viral infection that I miraculously lost half a stone! I had been *sob* a big size 12 up top and a size 14 in bottom, now I can squeeze myself into a size 12 both top and bottom but I really have to try clothes on now, my size fluctuates so much I daren't buy anything online as more often than not I'd have to return it!
I got married this year to the father of my children and I didn't feel like a bride should do on her magic day. I was uncomfortable at the thought of everyone taking photos of me. I have been since first becoming pregnant and piling on the weight. I don't let people take photos of me - I have no control over the delete button that way! I've lost track of how many photos I've actually deleted of myself and I have been known to sneak away with other peoples cameras and delete the ones of me. If I can't and they end up on facebook I either untag myself or block it from my timeline entirely. I don't mind selfies sometimes, though only when it's my phone as I can control how I look then; camera higher and I can decide which profile looks better. Have been known to delete more than a few of them too though. It's the forehead chasms and the crowsfeet taking over the world that ruin even just a face photo.
When my wedding photos came I cried. I literally had panic attacks when people were uploading theirs onto facebook and they would appear on my timeline or the dreaded ping of the notifications sounded. They were beyond terrible. I had a double chin and my arms were like big tree trunks of lard. I cried for about a week as picture after picture appeared of me looking bloated and uncomfortable. Photos when I was walking down the aisle, after the ceremony, the cake, the speeches, oh god the speeches ones were awful! and don't even get me started on the first dance ones or the evening reception. I would say that out of more than 500 photos I only liked two. TWO. And one of them was a selfie taken by my cousin's fiancee!
I will let you into a secret.
There is a photobook of all our wedding memories. My husband was showing it at our boy's third party recently and I didn't reallyyyyy mind because.....
I've edited the pictures.
All of them.
Every single one of them.
I downloaded editing software and systematically worked my way through the files of photos and reshaped my face, my neck, my arms. I whitened my teeth and in some instances greenified my eyes.
I'm not ashamed because these are photos I will live with for the rest of my life and will exist into my children's lives. Some of them are how I should have looked if I had had the chance, the willpower, the dedication. Not all of them are perfect but they're considerably better than what they were!
Here's examples. Originals followed by edited:
And now.... all that is about to change. And why? Because I have been chosen to trial a detox programme of juices by juicetou, a company I've been following on twitter for a while and delighted to be picked to do this.
The plan is 4 juices a day with a 3 hour period in between them. It will last for 3 days with a before picture and after picture and detailed measurements to see what I can achieve. It's not only about weight (though that is obviously the main draw). The juices promote clear skin and mind too - something this slummy mummy is in dire need of! As much as I love my children I am depressed sometimes about the loss of "me". My body and my quiet time and SLEEP! The company boasts that the detox will leave me feeling "fully revitalised, refreshed and rejuvenated" which means it not only benefits me but my children and my husband too. Too often I am too tired to play with them, moany and snappy and then depressed by the time my husband returns from work. Being a stay at home mum is exhausting and altogether too tempting to reach into the biscuit jar or even at the shops pick up a wee bottle of wine for later. Not to mention I am a diet coke junkie. It's a slippery slope to slumminess. I take it well.
Well...tomorrow that all changes because the juices have ARRIVED! I beyond excited to start the climb up from my slummy depths.
I have no doubt it will be hard with two children to care for - they are a bundle of energy, don't sleep during the day and cooking meals for them and my husband whilst sticking to juices myself will be tough I have no doubt. It's going to take some serious willpower and dedication but all I need to do is look at all those unedited wedding photos and know I am making a good start.
Juicetou seems to be a good company; they have a very decent transformation record and rave reviews both on their website www.juicetou.com/ and on their twitter https://twitter.com/juicetou. With the results including weight loss, improved energy and improvement in hair, complexion, concentration and immune system and more I am hoping this is the start to my rise to become the yummy mummy I always hoped I would be. Detoxing regularly can only be a good thing to "reset" your health and life and I hope to continue the good work after the 3 days are up.
Til tomorrow!!
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